I've been thinking about what it looks like to be obedient a lot lately, and what that practically means in life. I've been thinking it's not so much about following rules like the Ten Commandments (though that is obviously obedience as well), but more about trust in God. I think a life of obedience to God must always be preceded by a foundation of trust- if you don't trust Him, it's likely you won't obey Him.
Trust will lead to obedience, and obedience will lead to deeper trust.
I was impacted by all of this the other day when I was reading a part of Elijah's story in 1 Kings.
"Now Elijah the Tishbite, of Tishbe in Gilead, said to Ahab, “As the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, before whom I stand, there shall be neither dew nor rain these years, except by my word.” And the word of the Lord came to him: “Depart from here and turn eastward and hide yourself by the brook Cherith, which is east of the Jordan. You shall drink from the brook, and I have commanded the ravens to feed you there.” So he went and did according to the word of the Lord... (1 Kings 17:1-5a)
When I read this I was stunned as I thought, "Ravens? RAVENS? That's not exactly the assurance I'd want from God, that birds are going to supply my meals." I sat there imagining what my response would've been had I been in Elijah's position. Would I have obeyed? I'd like to say yes, but to be honest, I think I would've been too skeptical and have convinced myself I wasn't hearing God correctly.
I imagine it would require an immense amount of trust in God to willingly rely on birds for your food. Elijah must've had that trust, because he obeyed what God had instructed. Not only this, but he obeyed without defiance or grumbling- true obedience doesn't contain such mental rebellion anyway. There didn't seem to be any of that, but instead there was a humble, trusting act of obedience: he went.
Trust will lead to obedience and, just as in Elijah's case, provide God with the opportunity to display how trustworthy He is. Thus, obedience will lead to deeper trust.
This kind of faith-filled obedience doesn't contain stipulations or yield only when things make sense. It is unconditional and meek; wholly dependent on the faithfulness of God.
I wonder to myself if I have within me this kind of obedience, and I assure myself I must. I heard God tell me to do another year at my discipleship school, and I'll obviously submit to that. I mean, it's GOD. Of course I'd obey Him. That's what I tell myself, anyway, that I'd be unconditionally obedient, but I suppose such an example isn't difficult to adhere to.
It's much easier to obey God when what He is asking of you is simple or enjoyable, but what about when it's not? This question pierced me when I thought of it in regards to one of the deepest desires of my heart: mission work. What if God asked me to give that up or redefine it in a way I wasn't happy with?
"What if God calls you to a place that you would rather die than go to? What if God sends you somewhere abhorrent to you so that every fiber in your being revolts against the very thought of it?" -Living Water, Brother Yun
What if? What would I do? To be honest, the idea of such doesn't exactly make me jump out of my seat with a readiness to obey. This question makes me hesitate.
You see, sometimes I still subconsciously think that if I'm a "good girl" God will just give me what I want. Somehow I've convinced myself that obedience to God concerning missions will be easy because doing mission work is in my heart. But what if God doesn't call me to the places I've always wanted to go? What if He doesn't call me to go, but instead to stay? What if my mission field was the very last city in the very last country I'd want to be in?
What if obedience meant doing the exact things and going to the exact places I never wanted?
It was when I asked myself these questions I realized trust in God is vital if obedience to Him is ever to manifest in our lives. Trust- it is all about trust.
It is trust in God that not only enables us to obey Him, but to do so with a light and joyful heart. When we wholeheartedly trust God, it creates in us a faith that will follow Him at all costs.
As the end of my first discipleship school year nears, I can see how trust in God will be the only thing to give us strength when He is asking something difficult or frightening of us. Why? Because the "what ifs" have become reality, and God is asking of me something I don't want to give.
In just one month, the offseason will begin- a time of four months between each school year- and I have been looking forward to going back home to Michigan for this season. My heart was desperately excited to once again be working and be amongst my family, my church, my friends, and my favorite season of the year (a beautiful Michigan Autumn, of course). I hadn't felt God's peace about this for months, however, and I knew what He was saying to me; that didn't stop me from avoiding it for those months.
One night I finally approached God about it through tears and asked (though I partly knew the answer already) if He wanted me to stay in California during the offseason. The only thing I heard in response was a firm, "Yes." Nothing more, nothing less.
"Ok," I whispered. "I'll stay."
I would be lying if I said there wasn't a sadness in my heart, but I'd also be lying if I said there wasn't a deep peace- a peace that comes from trust in the Lord. It is trust in Him alone that can bring peace amidst this, because trust says that God knows what is best. Its trust that says God will be enough wherever I am and wherever I go. Its trust that says God's presence will bring more joy than anything else I may have wanted. It's trust. And when you trust God enough to give a "yes", He will always come through and give you so much more.
I am afraid and saddened, of course, but obedience isn't about a lack of fear, sadness, confusion, or hesitancy anyway. This is what I've been trying to tell you: obedience is about trust.
Trust will lead to obedience, and obedience will lead to a deeper trust.
It's trust in God that allows us the strength to give the "yes" when we want to give a "no." It's trust in God that allowed Elijah to follow God's word to the brook of water, and it's trust in God that will lead us into the same kind of obedience- an unconditional, meek obedience wholly dependent on the faithfulness of God.
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