A Gardener's Nightmare

I am by no means a professional gardener- it’d be a stretch to say I’m even an amateur one- but let me tell you what I've learned as I have started gardening. Since I’ve recently moved to California, my household chore has been to work in the yard and help keep up the garden, so I’ve spent some time in the past few months learning many things about yard work. Seeing as how I came in knowing hardly anything about how to tend a garden, my work has consisted mostly of pulling up weeds- its super exciting stuff.

As you may know, however, nature speaks to me quite often, so it’s only natural that I write a detailed analogy about it.

So we have this area in our backyard that wants to be a nice patio, but it struggles just a little bit. When I say this I mean that the square bricks laid down as tile are on a plot of uneven dirt, and so they are all kinds of crooked and slanted. Since they aren’t cohesively placed, there are plenty of crevices for weeds to pop up in multitudes. And let me tell you, they do. There are weeds all over the place, between every sliver of space they can find. This area needs constant care to keep from getting out of control, all because of it's shaky foundation.

Today after school I prepped myself for some time out in the yard (as I do every Tuesday), and before I walked out the door I pondered what work I could do today. I was hopefully thinking that maybe there’d be something different available for me, something apart from the usual weed-pulling monotony. I took my first step outside and as I saw the patio covered in obnoxiously tall weeds, I knew immediately how I’d be spending that afternoon.

Forget any kind of new project: today was going to be all about basic maintenance and weed control.

I knelt down and began my duties of pulling the weeds surrounding our patio, and I was astonished at how tall these plants had already grown. I felt like I had just pulled them a few days ago, and they had already begun taking over our backyard once again. “This is the life of a gardener I suppose. Mostly tending and maintaining.” I’m not sure what I thought gardening was, but I didn't think it was tedious like this.

So I’m sitting there pulling out weeds, some with ease and others with difficulty, and I think to myself, “I feel like this is what the garden of my heart is like. It may be full of all kinds of weeds, but if maintained it has the potential to be really cool.”  Hear me out on this, because I learned more about how to take care of my heart by taking care of my yard.

As I said, there were some weeds that I pulled out pretty easily. These were those that had hardly yet grown, and the roots were frail and thin. They came up with only a small tug, and I compared these to sin in my life that I have stumbled into once or twice. It was still a weed as awful as any other that needed to be pulled, but it didn't resist much because it didn't have the time needed to grow deeply.

Though it didn't take much to deal with these weeds, I felt that can be tricky because of their size, and many people will look over them because they are seemingly small. In some way, certain sins become somewhat excusable or easier to overlook because they are deemed lesser, but any weed is a weed, and these little ones must be pulled out just as any other. Regardless of its size, it will undoubtedly cause trouble in a yard if left untouched for too long. 

In other words: even the small weeds should be plucked. Don’t allow yourself to skip over any because you think they are seemingly harmless. They’re not.

There were also weeds that were more of a struggle to deal with. These were those with thick roots, ones that had time to grow deeper into the soil. They had clearly been nourished because they weren't yet dead, and they required a firmer grasp and a stronger tug to pull. These weeds were the deceptive ones of the bunch, because they merely grew stronger rather than taller. At first glance they didn't seem to be a dangerous plant because they didn't appear much taller than many others, but the roots were always growing under the surface to make them deeper and harder to pull.

I believe these represented the sins that I had given room to in my life because I didn't think they’d grow into much of anything- ones I permitted for a short while because I either didn't know how to pull them or I didn't see them actively growing in my life. 

These weeds weren't impossible to yank out from the ground, but they certainly took more time and precision. I couldn't pull a handful of them at once, and I had to ensure my fingers were grasping tight so I could get the entire root. These weeds also held a touch of frustration, as pulling them continually turned out to be a more difficult task than it appeared. Though they took more work than the small, dainty weeds, they weren't yet the worst I would find.

There was a third section of weeds in our backyard, and this portion looked like it hadn't been touched in over a month. This was frustrating because I knew I had pulled them out recently, yet they grew so rapidly it was as if I had never even spent time on them. These weeds took a lot of work- they were so tall that I had to cut them down before I could even get to pulling out the root. I wasn't even sure I could classify them as weeds anymore, but I knew they needed to be extracted and so I kept on tugging at the troublesome plants.

I compared these immediately to the strongholds that existed in my life. This was not only because of their size and strength, but because of their insistence in coming back. I sat pulling these weeds, remembering distinctly yanking out the exact ones not long ago, yet here they were again. To me, these were the disorders, addictions, insecurities, and fears of life. They seemed to dominate and overshadow, and they could not be removed without a fight. As I sat there trying to tear out these weeds, I realized that many of them needed tools more powerful than my own hands to be plucked out. Many times I could pull with both hands and still the roots would remain firm.

The level of difficulty and my level of failure in pulling these weeds was discouraging to me, but I found hope in the certain areas of the yard where I could tell they had once grown but ceased to do so because they had been pulled out just right. They had been tugged at the heart of the root and therefore no longer plagued the yard. It took many attempts and much effort to remove these weeds, but it wasn't impossible to do so. 

I've been learning through my weed-pulling experiences in general that a yard takes a lot of work to maintain. I mean, even a small one takes hours upon hours to keep. It’s crazy! As I looked at my backyard today I thought, “It is the same here as for my own heart. It needs constant maintenance and tender care, sometimes even to a seemingly absurd amount.” I not only realized this, but also recognized how quickly weeds can pop up and grow deeply.  No wonder my heart needs nonstop attention- it only takes a moment to become filled with weeds! It’s not as if I can neglect my heart for a week and expect it to be in good condition; it needs perpetual attention.

I think the best part about pulling weeds today, though, was doing it alone. I felt as if I hardly got anything done and that the quality was worse because I became disheartened quickly. I know that sounds like the worst part, but actually it all drove me to be that much more grateful in knowing that I am not alone in caring for my heart. I thank God that He is the true gardener of my heart, and His desire is to leave no weed untouched.

I have confidence that my God will complete the project He has begun in me, and He will unconditionally love me through it. It’s so encouraging to know He won’t leave His garden surrounded by weeds, because God finishes what He starts. Even more so, as He and I work together on excavating my heart, He is gentle in the process, patient with the weeds He has already removed, and strong in ability to pull even the toughest of weeds. I feel it's safe to say that I am now well-versed in the horrors of weeds, and because of it I am super grateful for my Father, an expert gardener who will clean, maintain, and beautify His garden continually until the day of Christ.

God is working in the garden of my heart, and as I reflect on the annoyance of insistent weeds, I find myself deeply grateful for His perseverance and might. Not only this, but I feel a strong desire to aid Him in the refusal to allow weeds to prosper. I begin to hate the weeds that take over the beautiful garden God intended to create, and I long to see the final product of His hands.

Because you know what? It's going to be beautiful.

“Be confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” –Phillippians 1:6