Simply Thankful

I am convinced that it is impossible to find a family without some element of “crazy.” Family holidays, birthdays, reunions, get-togethers; they’re all nuts! In one form or another, there is always a little madness … I think it’s awesome. It’s crazy because it’s different.

There are a number of traditions that are more or less the same throughout each family despite the differing craziness (putting up a Christmas tree, painting eggs for Easter, dressing up in costumes for Halloween, etc), and then there are other traditions that are more personal, more unique. Those are the traditions that are really meaningful and fun, because they are different from one family to the next.

My family has quite a number of our own unique traditions. One of my favorites is our yearly Thanksgiving ritual. A couple of weeks before Thanksgiving Day, we get together every night to read and write our “thankful leaves.” Since it is the fall season, we cut out pieces of construction paper in the shape of leaves and on each leaf we write something for which we are thankful. We write out only a few leaves each night and then we sit around the fire with hot chocolate to read each other our leaves, as well as listen to the leaves of others. After each round, the leaves from that night are hung around the kitchen on the cupboards, creating a colorful, autumn-themed, “thankful leaf” display.

I think this yearly custom that we have created is absolutely fantastic. Not only do we get to spend time with our family, but we get to hear what each person is thankful for that year, and it makes us think about what we are truly thankful for that year as well. It’s also really inspiring, and sometimes humorous, to look back on the leaves of the past and see the change of importance of certain things in our lives and what we were most thankful for a few years ago.

But I digress.

So, this year as I was writing out some of my leaves, I noticed that the majority of them had the same general topic of gratitude.  I noticed that I was consistently and deeply thankful for

God…

God…

and some more God.

The first few of my leaves were obvious: I was thankful for God’s blessing of this, thankful for His forgiveness of that, His grace for those, His peace in that; the list goes on. Then I got to the next leaf and, while I knew what I wanted to write, I couldn’t find the words. I had an idea, but the words seemed too simple; they just couldn’t express the extent of my joy, my gratitude, my amazement.

I wanted to write, “I am thankful for God’s love for me; His unconditional love,” but those words just didn’t seem enough.  

I took myself back two years (or even one year ... even six months) from this day and thought of the person that I was and the position that I was in. Again, I can’t find the words to describe my state at that point in my life, but “terrible” doesn’t do it justice. I was living an impure life in a number of ways. I was a liar. I was rebellious. I ignored my family and I ignored my God. I ran away from my faith and my conscience. I’m not sure I felt any shame for the way that I lived, and if I did, I immediately shoved it away; I had no intention of changing. Did I think that God loved me then? No.At that time, I was certain that He didn’t. But did God love me then? Of course He did.

Even when my conscience caught back up to me and I tried to turn my life around, I still didn’t turn to God. Full of shame and regret, I decided that I could still be a “moral” person without necessarily involving God; I was convinced that He didn’t want me back anyways. However, God’s unconditional love was ever present, and as I continued to ignore Him, He continued to love me.   

God loved me enough, even in my darkest hours, to rescue me. He pursued me time and time again, even when I ran. He blessed me constantly, even when I cursed Him. Even when I abandoned Him, when I loved the world more, He fought for me. He wanted everything to do with me when I wanted nothing to do with Him.

Looking at my timeline of the last two years, the transformation is nothing short of incredible. The way God has shaped my life these past couple of years is unimaginable. Words can’t describe it and I oftentimes feel that I can barely comprehend it. His love was, and is, phenomenal. He loved me at my worst. He fought for me at my worst. The way in which He loves us is incredible.

Max Lucado wrote, “Father, your love never ceases. Never. Though we spurn you, ignore you, disobey you, you will not change. Our evil cannot diminish your love. Our goodness cannot increase it. Our faith does not earn it any more than our stupidity jeopardizes it. You don’t love us less if we fail. You don’t love us more if we succeed.”

That concept, the concept of His unfailing love, is so ... I don’t even have the words for it.

Saying that, “I am thankful for God’s unconditional love for me,” doesn’t accurately portray it. I wish I could find the words to describe how thankful I am, but I can’t. I am thankful that God’s love never ceases. I am thankful that He loves me in my darkest hours; that he fights for me in those hours. I am thankful that His love produces such blessings and joy. I am thankful for the inconceivable bliss that I feel because I so strongly love someone who loves me more than I can even understand. I am thankful that He saved me from myself.  He loved me enough not to leave me where I was, where I thought I wanted to be. He picked me up, dusted me off, and reminded me how deep His love is for me.

Isaiah 54:10 - For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, but my lovingkindness will not be removed from you.

Zephaniah 3:17 - The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

Micah 7:18 – Who is a God like you, who pardons iniquity and passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possession? He does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in unchanging love.

Romans 5:8 – But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Two years ago, I was so far from anyone I ever wanted to be. In my own eyes, I was undoubtedly a disappointment, and yet I was undoubtedly loved by God. His unfailing love is amazing.

As plain and simple as it sounds, I am thankful for God’s unchanging love; it has radically changed my life, and words can’t even describe it.

Psalm 136:26, Give thanks to the God of Heaven. His love endures forever.

Ordinarily Extraordinary

There are a vast number of people who have greatly changed all of our lives. There are inventors, speakers, writers, doctors, teachers, scientists, and more who have changed our world, whether that is technologically, physically, or inspirationally.

For example, Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell contributed highly to our modern technology. Thomas Edison invented the light bulb and Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. There are also hundreds and hundreds of other inventions (big and small) that have changed our lives; cars, microwaves, penicillin, the printing press, computers, airplanes, television, toothbrushes, locks, paper clips, glasses, etc.

Martin Luther King Jr. changed the lives of many with his famous, I have a dream speech. Frederick Douglass wrote three autobiographies that paved the way in the abolitionist movement of the 19^th century. There are countless people who have changed and inspired our world through their speech and/or writing; William Shakespeare, Karl Marx, Plato, Rene Descartes, Thomas Paine, George Orwell, Leo Tolstoy, etc.

There are painters like Picasso, leaders like Abraham Lincoln, and artists like John Lennon or The Beatles who have helped to shape our world. These people are famous, their names are recognized by most, and they have changed some aspect of our society and our world.

Doesn't everybody wish to somehow change the world like they did?

Changing the world is such a big dream; it’s a huge dream! It’s intimidating and oftentimes seems out of our reach. I love the idea of inspiring or changing the world in some way, but I also love to be realistic, so I decide to dream a little smaller. My mind immediately jumps to justifications for why I am incapable of such a dream. Changing the world isn’t for everybody, right? It’s for those who have remarkable ideas, unheard of IQs, or unmatched talents. People who change the world are extraordinary people, and I would say that I’m fairly ordinary, so changing the world just isn’t for me. I would love to do something so great, but wanting to do something and having the ability to do it are entirely different. I’m just not the, “great enough to change the world,” type, and I accept that.

However, I reach an issue with this mentality regularly. I don’t think that God is too fond my attitude and outlook on my abilities. Why is this an issue? Because God calls us to do crazy, change-the-world things!

God calls us to love our enemies (Matt 5:44, Romans 12:20, Luke 6:27-28, 1 John 2:9). He calls us to serve and sacrifice ourselves for others (Matt 25:35-46, 1 Peter 4:9-10, Galatians 5:13-14).

God calls us to be enemies of the world; to be in the world but not of the world (1 John 2:15-16, James 4:4, John 17:14). He calls us to preach the gospel to all (Mark 16:15, Matt 28:19, Mark 13:10) and to be a light unto the world (Matt 5:14-16, John 12:35-36).

I don’t think that any of those things could be regarded as “small” duties. God calls us to do some pretty monumental things.  

Now, I know what God wants and expects from me. I know it from His word and I know it from what He has impressed upon my heart. He’s got plans for me and He’s got work for me to do. I know what He wants, but I doubt that I can do it.

Sometimes I feel like I have to remind Him that it’s me. “God, you do know that you’re talking to me, right? You know, Mary Bocks?

Oh, you do know that?

Well then, you must’ve forgotten all about who I am. This is the Mary Bocks who has disappointed you time and time again; the one who continually falls short of your expectations. This is the one who-

You say you know exactly who I am?

Well if you know exactly who I am, you should know I am surely not good enough for this. I don’t understand why you would want to trust me with such a calling. God, with all due respect, I think you’re crazy! I want to serve you, I do, but there is no way I can do something that big! Can you trust me with something a little smaller?”

This conversation between God and I legitimately happens. I imagine He is constantly shaking His head at me.”Mary, you tell Me that you want to wholeheartedly serve Me, and yet when I ask something of you, you say it is too much, too big, too great. Do you not see the contradiction? You are not only underestimating yourself, but you are underestimating My ability to know you; My ability to know what you can do with my strength. I can trust you to do this, because I know you trust me.” Usually after awhile I understand the absurdity of arguing with God about what He is calling me to do, but that doesn't mean I think I can do it. There are many times I just can't understand why He is asking me to do it, and I can’t accept it.

“God, I’m just ordinary. I am nothing spectacular and I don’t have the potential to change the world. I just don’t understand why you think I am capable of doing such extraordinary things when I am just an ordinary person who makes ordinary mistakes.”

God reminds me that He doesn’t need extraordinary; He needs obedience and trust. He told me that, if I read my bible, I would quickly be reminded of all the times that he used ordinary people to do extraordinary things.

            God used fishermen, a tax collector, and religious radicals as His disciples.

            He used an ordinary shepherd boy named David to be the king of Israel,

            a young virgin to be the mother of Christ,

            an ordinary man (who was no prophet) named Amos to prophesy to Israel,

            a weak man named Gideon to defeat the Midianites

            a prostitute named Rahab and an adulteress named Bathsheba.

God uses ordinary people who trust in His strength to do extraordinary things; His disciples were fishermen! Alone, they were not wealthy, perfect, or strong; they were ordinary. But with God’s strength, they were extraordinary. They influenced lives and they changed the world. God still wants to use ordinary people to do amazing things today.

God doesn’t need us to be flawless. (Thomas Edison failed over 2000 times before he successfully invented the light bulb .. random fact!). If we let Him, God can use us to change the world.

“We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, or fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.” – Marianne Williamson

We are all ordinary people with the potential to be something and do something so much greater. Who was Picasso, but a normal man intrigued by art, before his work was famous? Who was William Shakespeare, but one of the many children at his charter school, before he became a famous playwright? Who were any of the aformentioned inventors, writers, or speakers before they changed the world? They were ordinary people. As quoted, maybe the question isn’t, “Who am I to change the world?” but rather, who are you NOT to change the world? Who are you NOT to be extraordinary?

What would have happened if Abraham had said he was too ordinary to "make a great nation?" What if Noah had thought himself not great enough to build an ark? What if David had not believed himself strong enough to defeat Goliath?

God will call you to do crazy things. He will call you to do incredible things. Let God use you to be extraordinary, because with Him, you can be. After all, who are you not to be?