Simply Thankful

I am convinced that it is impossible to find a family without some element of “crazy.” Family holidays, birthdays, reunions, get-togethers; they’re all nuts! In one form or another, there is always a little madness … I think it’s awesome. It’s crazy because it’s different.

There are a number of traditions that are more or less the same throughout each family despite the differing craziness (putting up a Christmas tree, painting eggs for Easter, dressing up in costumes for Halloween, etc), and then there are other traditions that are more personal, more unique. Those are the traditions that are really meaningful and fun, because they are different from one family to the next.

My family has quite a number of our own unique traditions. One of my favorites is our yearly Thanksgiving ritual. A couple of weeks before Thanksgiving Day, we get together every night to read and write our “thankful leaves.” Since it is the fall season, we cut out pieces of construction paper in the shape of leaves and on each leaf we write something for which we are thankful. We write out only a few leaves each night and then we sit around the fire with hot chocolate to read each other our leaves, as well as listen to the leaves of others. After each round, the leaves from that night are hung around the kitchen on the cupboards, creating a colorful, autumn-themed, “thankful leaf” display.

I think this yearly custom that we have created is absolutely fantastic. Not only do we get to spend time with our family, but we get to hear what each person is thankful for that year, and it makes us think about what we are truly thankful for that year as well. It’s also really inspiring, and sometimes humorous, to look back on the leaves of the past and see the change of importance of certain things in our lives and what we were most thankful for a few years ago.

But I digress.

So, this year as I was writing out some of my leaves, I noticed that the majority of them had the same general topic of gratitude.  I noticed that I was consistently and deeply thankful for

God…

God…

and some more God.

The first few of my leaves were obvious: I was thankful for God’s blessing of this, thankful for His forgiveness of that, His grace for those, His peace in that; the list goes on. Then I got to the next leaf and, while I knew what I wanted to write, I couldn’t find the words. I had an idea, but the words seemed too simple; they just couldn’t express the extent of my joy, my gratitude, my amazement.

I wanted to write, “I am thankful for God’s love for me; His unconditional love,” but those words just didn’t seem enough.  

I took myself back two years (or even one year ... even six months) from this day and thought of the person that I was and the position that I was in. Again, I can’t find the words to describe my state at that point in my life, but “terrible” doesn’t do it justice. I was living an impure life in a number of ways. I was a liar. I was rebellious. I ignored my family and I ignored my God. I ran away from my faith and my conscience. I’m not sure I felt any shame for the way that I lived, and if I did, I immediately shoved it away; I had no intention of changing. Did I think that God loved me then? No.At that time, I was certain that He didn’t. But did God love me then? Of course He did.

Even when my conscience caught back up to me and I tried to turn my life around, I still didn’t turn to God. Full of shame and regret, I decided that I could still be a “moral” person without necessarily involving God; I was convinced that He didn’t want me back anyways. However, God’s unconditional love was ever present, and as I continued to ignore Him, He continued to love me.   

God loved me enough, even in my darkest hours, to rescue me. He pursued me time and time again, even when I ran. He blessed me constantly, even when I cursed Him. Even when I abandoned Him, when I loved the world more, He fought for me. He wanted everything to do with me when I wanted nothing to do with Him.

Looking at my timeline of the last two years, the transformation is nothing short of incredible. The way God has shaped my life these past couple of years is unimaginable. Words can’t describe it and I oftentimes feel that I can barely comprehend it. His love was, and is, phenomenal. He loved me at my worst. He fought for me at my worst. The way in which He loves us is incredible.

Max Lucado wrote, “Father, your love never ceases. Never. Though we spurn you, ignore you, disobey you, you will not change. Our evil cannot diminish your love. Our goodness cannot increase it. Our faith does not earn it any more than our stupidity jeopardizes it. You don’t love us less if we fail. You don’t love us more if we succeed.”

That concept, the concept of His unfailing love, is so ... I don’t even have the words for it.

Saying that, “I am thankful for God’s unconditional love for me,” doesn’t accurately portray it. I wish I could find the words to describe how thankful I am, but I can’t. I am thankful that God’s love never ceases. I am thankful that He loves me in my darkest hours; that he fights for me in those hours. I am thankful that His love produces such blessings and joy. I am thankful for the inconceivable bliss that I feel because I so strongly love someone who loves me more than I can even understand. I am thankful that He saved me from myself.  He loved me enough not to leave me where I was, where I thought I wanted to be. He picked me up, dusted me off, and reminded me how deep His love is for me.

Isaiah 54:10 - For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, but my lovingkindness will not be removed from you.

Zephaniah 3:17 - The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

Micah 7:18 – Who is a God like you, who pardons iniquity and passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possession? He does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in unchanging love.

Romans 5:8 – But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Two years ago, I was so far from anyone I ever wanted to be. In my own eyes, I was undoubtedly a disappointment, and yet I was undoubtedly loved by God. His unfailing love is amazing.

As plain and simple as it sounds, I am thankful for God’s unchanging love; it has radically changed my life, and words can’t even describe it.

Psalm 136:26, Give thanks to the God of Heaven. His love endures forever.