Taking Back What Has Been Taken

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." -Maya Angelou 

Some of you may know that I've been writing this blog for a few years now, and since it isn't my job to do so and life continues to go on around me, I don't have as many opportunities to write as I'd like to. Though I'd enjoy sitting down every day and pouring out my thoughts, I am lucky if I have time and energy to post twice a month. In fact, I tend to write here only when a story is bursting at the seams inside of me and I have no choice but to tell it. 

I say that to say this is one of those precious moments, and I am absolutely giddy to put this on paper. (Well, technically you're seeing it on a screen, but it was on paper first). 

So if you're familiar with the way Jesus spoke to others in the bible, you'll know he would speak often in parables. I typically enjoy this because I love a good analogy, thought sometimes it can create such confusion about what he was trying to say. I used to feel that way about the parable of the talents- confused, that is- until I heard it explained a certain way and I felt like I really understood the purpose of the parable. 

One of the things I love about God, though, is that even when you think you understand something he'll blow your mind and teach you something new each time you read it. 

So I'm sitting there this morning reading the parable of the talents in Matthew 25. The story is about a master who is leaving for some time and grants talents to three of his servants (talents were a form of currency). When he eventually returns, he analyzes what each servant did with the talents they had been given. Two of the servants invested what they had, and with these the master was pleased. The third servant, however, feared the wrath of his master and consequently buried his talent so he wouldn't lose it. With this the master was angered, and he cast out the servant who wasted what he was given. 

It's a great story, I think, about being faithful with the gifts and resources God gives you to use for His glory. As I read this, I pondered who I am in this story. I questioned which servant represents me, and I realized I didn't see myself in the parable at all. Why not? Because I saw myself as a fourth servant who is even worse than the third. 

I saw this picture of myself receiving talents from my master. He leaves for some time and I excitedly make a host of plans regarding the use of my talents. I am thrilled about what he has entrusted to me, and I look forward to using the gifts purposefully. Unfortunately afterward, an enemy who wishes to destroy my plans attacks me. His goal is to keep me from reaching my own, and he steals the talents away from me. And there I was- talentless. 

I see myself as this servant, one whose God-given talents and resources have seemingly been stripped by the enemy. God gave me the gift of writing, and satan deceived me into believing my words didn't matter. "Don't write," he said. "No one will care enough to read it anyway." God gave me a heart of compassion, and satan convinced me I had nothing to offer. "Don't even bother reaching out or trying to help. You have nothing to give." God would give "this," and satan would deceitfully say "that." My talents had been stolen, and I felt powerless to do anything about it. 

Seeing myself as this servant brought me both deep discouragement and hope. Discouragement because I considered myself to be in a worse position than the third servant, yet hope because now that I could clearly see my situation, I would be able to change it. The truth is that in Christ I'm not powerless, and I have the courage and strength to steal my talents back. I may have been that servant at one point, but I am determined to no longer be. This game the enemy has been playing with my mind is over. 

I mean, here's the thing: what if the enemy wants me to believe so badly that my words don't matter because my words will be the avenue through which I give to and change the world? 

I look at it like that and my heart screams, "enough!" I'm not about to sit idly by while satan continues to steal from me. When he steals from me he is ultimately stealing from my Lord, and he must be crazy if he thinks I'm going to keep letting that happen. 

So where do you see yourself in this story? If you feel like your talents have been stolen like mine, courageously step up and steal them back. God has given you great gifts- use them well.