Beauty Just Because

“Because I said so.”

This had to be one of the most despised (and possibly overused) statements that we heard from our parents as a kid. It never failed to be the answer when we asked why we had to clean the backyard, why we had to eat vegetables with our dinner, or why we had to do the dishes. There was no explanation, just a quick, “because I said so.” This is frustrating, is it not?

(Quick disclaimer: My mom actually did not do this. If she is reading this and thinking I am unjustly portraying her child-raising techniques and abilities, I would like to clarify that this was never her response ... she would probably appreciate that clarification).

Anyways, back to the point. 

So parents can find this phrase totally acceptable when their purpose or authority is questioned, but it really doesn’t explain anything. The sole point of our asking was to gain a response that could logically explain the purpose of a demand; to understand the reasoning behind eating our vegetables or cleaning our room. If we are doing something that we don’t necessarily want to do, it would be helpful to understand the importance of doing such so we are able to happily complete the task.

There is no reasoning behind such a response! We like proof and logic. We like to rationalize and we like to be knowledgeable. “Because I said so,” allows us none of these things. It forces us to accept what is said without further questioning or doubt. Such a response should never be an acceptable answer to ones inquiries. And yet, I hear this from my Father constantly.

I feel like God says this to me all the time. He makes some pretty extraordinary claims in the bible about who I am, and I can’t say that I don’t question them pretty frequently. He tells me that I am His masterpiece, that I am a precious jewel, that I am His inheritance, and that I am wonderfully made. He says that I am a light in the darkness, that I am strong and bold, and that I am complete in Him.

Those are not small claims! He would say a number of great things about who I am, but I would find myself doubting their validity fairly often. I’d doubt and I’d question, and the only response I ever heard back was, “You are because I said so.”  

Oh, cool … great response. This frustrated me beyond belief! It didn’t prove anything. It didn’t clear up anything for me, and I was no closer to believing any of the things He was telling me because I didn’t have explanations. I didn’t have proof. All I had was, “because I said so,” and that wasn’t enough for me. I so deeply believed lies that I had been taught throughout my life that such a simple and vague response wouldn’t convince me that it was truth.

You know how, when you were a kid, you thought you knew everything and you were convinced that your parents knew nothing? My mom always used to tell me that one day I would realize that my parents weren’t as clueless as I thought they were. She would joke about how she used to think that she was so much smarter than her parents, too, but she one day recognized that they actually did know what they were talking about. Well, that moment does come. And when it comes, “because I said so,” makes a little more sense. Now, I’m not saying it becomes a valid response, but one can begin to understand the reasoning behind it.

Parents know best. And if they don’t know best, they know better than we do. Thus, by saying, “because I say so,” they are implying that they know more and understand better than we do. They mean to say that their judgment and instruction can be trusted because they intend to guide us to the best of their ability.

Our Father does the same.

When God responds with, “because I said so,” that should be the last word. There should be no hesitation or further questioning. Why? Because God’s word, and God’s every word, is truth. God knows me better than I know myself! Who am I to tell God that He is wrong?  

“No God, you’re mistaken, actually. I know you say that I'm a masterpiece and I'm precious, but I'm actually not. I am not strong, nor am I a light.”

Who am I to think that His truths apply to everyone else but me?

“Sure, God, you say that your love is unconditional, but I’m pretty sure you meant to say that your love for everyone else except me, everyone but Mary Bocks, is unconditional. I'm sure your love for me waivers every now and then.”

Who am I to question God’s truth? 

“God, I continually read these verses and I know what you say about who I am, but how am I supposed to believe it? I mean, I just don’t see how I can think the things that you say about me are true.”

The ways in which I continually question God’s judgment and His truth are absurd because ultimately, everything He tells me is true. It’s certain. There are no exceptions and no inaccuracies. What God tells me is always true. There is no better argument that He can make for the validity of His claims other than, “I said so.” That’s like, the ultimate trump card!

“Mary, you should believe it because I said it, and my word is truth. Need I say more?”

No. No, He need not say more.

Formerly I thought that God’s response to my inquisition was the furthest thing from an actual answer. It frustrated me when the only thing I heard back was, “It is true because I said so.” I could never see the obvious conclusion He was trying to help me reach: God’s word is truth. Therefore, if God says it, it must be true. It’s so simple that it’s almost embarrassing that I didn’t see it before! 

I heard this concept explained quite well by one of the men from my church. I do believe that the originality (or the irregularity) is what has made the explanation so memorable. Here is what he said:

“God is truth, and whatever God says is true. So, if God says you’re a pickle, you’re a pickle!”

I  don't know that I could have said it better myself.

Although the wholehearted belief of His truths about who I am may come a little later after time, prayer, and transformation, I have reminded myself that His word IS truth, that His truth DOES apply to me, and who God tells me I am, I am, because God said so.

I am a masterpiece. For we are God’s masterpiece. He created us anew in Christ Jesus, in order to do the good works that planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10.

I am important. Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7.

I am marvelous. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, my soul knows that full well. Psalm 139:14

I am a precious treasure. “They will be my people,” says the Lord Almighty. “On the day
when I act in judgment, they will be my own special treasure.” Malachi 3:17

I am significant. The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 1 Corinthians 12:12, 27.

I am worth thought and time. How amazing are your thoughts concerning me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. Psalm 139:17-18.

I am deeply loved. I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge. Ephesians 3:17-19.

I am irreplaceable. On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. 1 Corinthians 12:23-24

I am righteous. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21.

I am chosen. Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Colossians 3:12.

I am pleasing and delightful. The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17.

I am strong. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13.

I am exactly how God made me to be. But in fact God has placed the parts of the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 1 Corinthians 12:18.

Interpretation Confusion

I always find the idea of a “favorite bible verse” somewhat humorous- humorous in an ironic, impossible kind of way. Saying you have a favorite bible verse is like saying you have a favorite song. How could one possibly choose a favorite when there are so many good ones? And there are so many different types! You might have a favorite song to listen to when you are sad and lonely, when you’re warming up for a game, when you’re gearing up to go out for the night, when you’re happy and on top of the world, when the windows are rolled down in the summer, when … ok, you get the point. 
 

I feel like the same concept applies for bible verses. How could anyone possibly have a favorite? There are so many beautiful, uplifting, convicting, inspiring, and just downright incredible verses. Picking favorites is near impossible! And similarly to listening to a new hit song that instantly becomes your favorite, you may continue to find new verses that you’ve previously never read, nevertheless adding another after another to your list of “favorites.”

Well, despite the irony and the humor I find in implying that a verse is on a list of favorites (because they are all so good!), I am going to tell you about one of mine.

One of my favorite verses (<--- I giggled out loud as I typed that) is in the book of Galatians. It comes right after the verses listing the fruits of the Spirit. It says,

“Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Therefore, if we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.” Galatians 5:24-25.

The figurative language in this gives me the chills each time that I read it. Seriously, check it out. We have crucified our flesh. We have done away with its passions and desires. A few verses beforehand, Paul writes about the desires of the flesh: sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, idolatry, hatred, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, envy, drunkenness. We have done away with all of these things! They are no longer a part of who we are.

[The fact that this verse says ‘crucified’ is part of what makes it so amazing to me. It doesn’t say we have ‘set aside’ or we have ‘forgotten about’ or we have ‘walked away from.’ Those are all great, too, but that implies that those passions and desires are still very present. They are still alive, still active, and still a part of your world. But saying that we have crucified them makes it sound so final, so dead, so powerful. They are crucified, and the only thing that rises again after a crucifixion is our Savior.]

Anyways, the verse strikes me as incredibly powerful, and a great reminder of how I ought to walk.

I got to thinking about it one day, and as I reread this verse while reading through Galatians, I found that the language that initially helped the verse earn a place on my ‘favorites’ list actually had me quite perplexed. I have crucified my flesh with its passions and desires, and yet I still fall prey to such. Continually I find myself giving in to the desires of my flesh. Have I not crucified them right? Does crucified not really symbolize and mean what I think it does? Does that mean I have to crucify them again? All sorts of potentially crazy questions like these arose in my mind. I thought that if the desires of my flesh were truly crucified, it wouldn’t make sense that they would continue to make me fall. If my sinful nature was no longer a part of who I was, then why was I still stumbling?  

What I found was that I was initially reading and interpreting the verse wrong. Rather than see only what was written on the page, I was reading more than what was there. In my mind it said,

Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires, meaning that there is no excuse for you to fall prey to them, seeing as how they are dead. Now, if we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. This means to walk in perfection, Mary. No mistakes.

I’d say that’s much less inspiring. Who knew that my mind was subconsciously botching the bible? I sure didn’t. I didn’t notice what I was doing because it made sense to me. It seemed logical: if something has been put to death, it no longer has the ability to trip me up and make me fall. I thought that I thoroughly enjoyed the verse because of the symbolism and figurative language, but that is exactly what I was failing to see in it.

I have crucified my flesh with its passions and desires, yes, but in a spiritual and symbolic manner. I haven’t crucified them in a way that makes them absent from my life or from my person, or in a way that makes me perfect, but in a way that makes them unable to make up my life and to define me. Saying that I have crucified my flesh means that those sins and desires are no longer a part of who I am. I have freed myself, not from their presence, but from being defined by them.

 

The desires and passions of the flesh (sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, idolatry, hatred, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, envy, and drunkenness) will always be existent. Why? Because I’m human and I’m imperfect, and that will never change. They may always be existent in my life, but they will never tell who or what I am; they will never define me.   

Now I see that walking by the Spirit does not mean walking perfectly as a result of my flesh being put to death. Instead, I realize that walking by the Spirit is allowing the Spirit to guide my steps, rather than my flesh, and in doing so, I “will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh” (Gal. 5:16-17). 

I have realized that the verse is more about making a choice as a new and clean creation. If I live by the Spirit, which I do as a child of Christ, I should walk by the Spirit. That doesn’t mean perfectly. That doesn’t mean questioning my strength and the depth of my faith when I fall. It means choosing to follow the desires of the Spirit, and not the desires of my flesh. It’s realizing that this is a decision not made once, or even twice, but one that is made constantly. It’s a decision that I will have to make every day; every morning, every night, every hour, maybe even every minute. Walking is a constant action, thus requiring a constant decision to do so.

This verse isn’t telling me to walk perfectly as I previously had though it did, and God certainly isn’t expecting me to do so. Crucifying my flesh does not mean ridding myself of my imperfections, but rather making a decision to part with the desires of my flesh and to disassociate myself with that sin. It is making a decision of how and with whom I will walk. 

Maybe I’m still interpreting this verse wrong, but I like this interpretation much more than the perfectionist pressure of the first.

Forgetting Our Joy, Are We?

I love music. I love playing it, singing it, dancing to it, and for the most part, I like all different kinds. I'm able to listen to a lot of variety, because there are so many different aspects to a song I admire.

Sometimes I love a song for its music. Essentially any song with a piano, even for a second, is golden.  Then there are some songs with an acoustic guitar with a beautiful finger picking pattern, and it automatically becomes most played on my list.

So then, sometimes I love a song for its beat and rhythm. ‘Pretty’ music is great, but there are times when you just want to dance, and you’ve got to have a sound drumbeat for that. Or maybe there are some crazy keyboard strokes in there that sound like lasers or something; totally dance worthy!

Sometimes I love a song because it’s the perfect range for my voice and I can really belt it out. And I mean belt it. I’m not talking about singing in a nice, sweet voice. I mean ‘my throat might hurt tomorrow from screaming like this’ singing. In this case, I might not even care about the instruments or the words (except that I know them so I can sing/scream them) because I just love singing, and rocking out to a great song, in my opinion, is simply great for the soul.

Then there are times when I love a song because of its lyrics. It might be lacking a nice beat, my favorite instruments, or that perfect range, but the lyrics are just so awesome that I can’t turn it off.

The worst kind of songs are the catchy ones you hate, because somehow or another they still end up being stuck in your head. How does these even happen? I don't know, but I'd avoid it if I could.

The other day I was singing a song (one I'd probably list as "indifferent" because I don't hate it, but it's not really one I'd jam out to) that was stuck in my head, and there were a couple of strange things about it.

One was that I probably have not heard or sung this song since I was in grade school. How or why it was in my head, I didn't know.

Two was that I could not even think of another song to sing. I don’t even know how to explain that, but I felt like my mind was convinced that those words were the only song lyrics it knew.

Third was that it wasn't subconscious, yet it sort of was. I mean, I was fully aware of the lyrics I was singing, but it felt like my brain wasn't singing them. (Maybe it's because they were playing from my heart).

So let me set the scene for you: the previous day was horrific to say the least. It felt as if it would never end, and I was forever trapped in a world full of every negative feeling I know. I was emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained. The months and months of stretching myself too far and doing way too much had finally caught up to me and broken me down. I did what everyone said I was going to: I burned out. 

That’s what I felt like, anyways. Days like those had been becoming more and more common, but I think that it had finally been the last straw. I was beat. Before I went to bed that night, God sent me a few different messages (in amazing ways) to remind me of a few basics that I had forgotten in the midst of my weariness. Amongst many other things, He reminded me of how great His love is for me and how transforming that simple fact can be in my life.

The next morning, I had a song stuck in my head. Again, the song choice was so weird to me, but there it was, loud and clear as if it was playing audibly directly into my ears. Here are the words that my heart couldn’t stop singing that next day:

I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy

down in my heart,

down in my heart to stay.

And I’m so happy, so very happy

I’ve got the love of Jesus in my heart.

Deep, right? Maybe. But really, it's just simple. I mean, it’s not even a long song. If you sing the full thing, it might be 30 seconds long. Yet this was the song that was joyfully playing all day long to my heart. 

So I got to thinking about it, and I realized how amazing that song really is. There is joy! And why? Because we've got the love of Jesus.

Not because we just won the lottery.

Not because we lost 15 pounds.

Not because we got a promotion.

Not because of an earthly success or fortune.

Joy simply because we've got the love of their Savior.

At one point, I could barely fathom how much this song just made sense. I mean, how can you not be joyful about having the love of Jesus? I was thinking, “Why do I not have these lyrics written on my wall? Why don’t I sing this song every morning? It’s just so perfect!” Just imagine the amount of joy we could have on a daily basis if we found our joy first and foremost in the love of God. Our joy would be endless! God reminded me that morning that I find my joy, my riches, my happiness, and my life in Him; He knew that I was starting to forget that.

I was caught up in what I could do. I was exhausted by guilt. I was distracted by my worries, my schoolwork, my job, my stress, the burdens I was carrying; everything. I don’t know that it was a conscious path that I was walking, but I was beginning to try and find happiness and peace in things and in people other than in my Savior. I don't even think that I was specifically seeking happiness, but I was allowing earthly things to divert my attention away from the joy found in Him.

I don’t think that I am alone in this whirlwind of distraction. I think that we all can fall into this trap at any point in our lives. We strive to do too much. We have too many responsibilities. Worries and problems tug at us throughout each day.  Whatever it may be, I think that we can sometimes forget where our joy really comes from. Our lips sing the praises without the presence of the heart. We go through the motions of our work without remembering for whom we do it. We seek happiness from earthly things and forget that such pure joy in our hearts can’t be found here.

We forget the simplicity of having joy in our hearts because we have the love of Jesus.

If you're going to forget anything, forget your worries. Forget about your long to-do list and the burdens that you carry. Forget the stress, doubt, guilt, uncertainty, anger, shame, or loneliness you feel. Forget those things, but do not forget where to find your greatest joy. Once you forget where to find it, you’ll lose it, and it’s the greatest joy you will ever find.

“In Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever.” Psalm 16:11

Relationship With God: 101

There is no doubt or debate that a relationship with God is different than any kind of human relationship we will encounter. Now, obviously the relationship is different because our relationship with God is not one with a physical person; rather it is one with a spiritual being. However, this is only one of the numerous differences that exist between our relationship with our Savior and the companionship that we have with others.

God’s characteristics play a huge part in this. Because God loves us unconditionally, we do not need to earn His love. He will never love us more, just as He will never love us less. This is not always the case with people. God wholeheartedly forgives us of our shortcomings and He does not hold them against us. God will never leave us, nor betray us. Again, this is not necessarily the case with people.

I could go on and on about how the different attributes of God characterizes what our relationship with Him looks like. However, I think that we already know, and mostly understand, these differences. We know about His love, His unending grace, His mercy, His gentleness, His wisdom, etc.

I believe that it is safe to say that most people who truly know God are aware of the reasons why a relationship with Him is unlike any other. Contrastingly, I am not sure that I believe we understand the ways in which such a partnership is similar to any other. Maybe we do know these “relationship basics,” but I’m not sure that we always adhere to them. I think that we oftentimes lose sight of the essential, yet simple things that build and sustain a relationship.

Just like any relationship, whether it may be friendship, familial, or spousal, there are certain occurrences that should take place on a regular basis. Such protocol keeps relationships strong, close-knit, and healthy.

You should regularly spend quality time together.

I don’t think that we place quite enough importance on spending time with our God.  Just like in any other relationship, God wants us to set aside time wherein we can relax and enjoy His company. Having a coffee or a date with Him may not even cross our minds, but God wants your time just like anyone else. It has been said that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but the last thing we need is to be distant from God! God wants nothing more than to be close to you.

Obviously the ways in which we spend quality time with our Father are different than how we spend it with others, but the importance of spending that time is the same. If you don't think so, try increasing, or at the very least, maintaining, the caliber of a relationship while spending hardly any time together. It doesn’t work. That time together is so necessary. Find an activity that enables you to spend time with your God, and spend it.

You need to communicate on a regular basis.

Communication is so vital on every level in every relatinship. It wasn't long ago that I discovered the immense effects that constantly communicating with God could have on my relationship with Him and on my life. “God is omniscient,” I would think. “He already knows what I’m thinking, what I’m angry about, why I’m upset, the reasons for my happiness … there’s no need to constantly tell Him about it again over and over.” I don’t know, I thought He might get annoyed by the repetition or something. I didn’t realize that I was missing a few key points.

One was this: communication with God is just as much about listening as it is about talking. I wasn’t giving God the opportunity to talk back. How could I let Him guide me, comfort me, or rejoice with me without opening the door for communication? I couldn’t.

The second point I was missing was that, although He may already know my heart, our relationship can't grow if I don’t share my heart with Him. To really understand this point, I relate this idea to one of my best friendships. My best friend Jake and I are unable to see each other often because of the distance between each of our colleges. We hardly see one another and we communicate in order to keep in touch. Now, if Jake did not communicate with me, but I was told by a mutual friend how or what he was doing, would our relationship grow? Would it be sustained? Maybe at first it might, because the friendship that we have already built is so strong. In the long run, however, our friendship would suffer. Even though I am aware of how Jake is doing, our relationship is still hurt due to the lack of communication and kinship between us. I may know about Jake, sure, but the mere knowledge of his situation without mutual conversation does nothing to strengthen our relationship.

By ignoring the need for communication with God, I was not only missing out on the emotional support that He could give me, but I wasn’t allowing us to become any closer or stronger together.

Always let God know that He is appreciated.

God wants to bless you for no reason other than because He loves you. God’s intentions are pure, and He does not favor us for the praise. Does that mean that praises are unnecessary? I certainly don’t think so. I fully believe that we underestimate the power of a small praise. I think that God, like anybody, delights in knowing that we appreciate His actions and His blessings.

I feel like God is similar to a mother who slaves away each night over the stove to cook a delicious meal for her children. She does this because she loves the joy that she sees in them during the meal; she does it purely because she loves them. After months and months of such effort, however, if she lacked any sign of gratification from her children, she may become discouraged and hurt. I don’t know exactly how God feels when we take His blessings for granted, but I can’t imagine it's any better. I don't imagine that He would be opposed to a little recognition and praise.

I think that it is important to acknowledge God’s hand in even the simplest of things. We say that it's, "the little things that mean the most," but sometimes it's the recognition of those little things that mean the most. It is now midway through December, and I have yet to see much snow. I have been craving any sign of the beautiful white flakes, and today I woke up to a lovely snowfall; I made sure to let God know how thankful I was. Simple, yet so important. Were you struck by the beauty of a flower? Did you have a pleasant day at work? Was the weather gorgeous on your day off? Could you feel His peace when you needed it? Did you meet an encouraging stranger who “randomly” crossed your path?  

Whatever it may be, thank God for it! Remind Him that He is appreciated. It could be something as small as a light snow, but a little praise can be a big deal.  

Worship Him.

God knows who He is, and He doesn’t need us to tell Him what that is. God doesn’t need to be reminded of what He’s done for us and He doesn’t need to be reassured of who He is. So why is worship necessary? Similar to the idea that communication with God is just as much for us as it is for Him, I believe that worship has the same concept.

Worship is for our heart just as much as it is for His.

I do think that God finds pleasure in hearing us rejoice but, more importantly, He deserves it. God deserves nothing less than to be praised, glorified, and lifted up.  I think that worship is vital because it reminds us of that fact. Worship reminds us of the pain our Savior endured, the sins He bore, and the cross that He carried. It reminds us of His power, glory, and wisdom. It tells us of His love and grace towards His children.

One of my favorite worship songs is a perfect example of how worship reminds us who our Lord is and what He can do. I think that the bridge of the song is the most powerful, and it goes like this:

“All our troubles and all our fears, God our hope, He has overcome. All our failure and all our fear, God our love, He has overcome. All our heartache and all our pain, God our healer, He has overcome. All our burdens and all our shame, God our freedom, He has overcome … God our justice, God our grace, God our freedom, He has overcome. God our refuge, God our strength, God is with us. He has overcome.”

David speaks about our Lord in Psalm 18, the Lord who is His strength, his rock, his fortress and deliverer. His rock in whom he takes refuge, his shield, the horn of his salvation, and his stronghold.

Worship writes on our hearts the wonders of His love, the amazing works that He has done, and the number of things that God can be, will be, and is for us; our hope, strength, love, freedom, refuge, grace, and our justice.

Christian author Joni Eareckson Tada said, “The Christian faith is meant to be lived moment by moment. It isn’t some broad, general outline- it’s a long walk with a real person. Details count: passing thoughts, small sacrifices, a few encouraging words, little acts of kindness, and brief victories over nagging sins.”

I think that she worded it perfectly; the Christian faith is about our walk with our savior, and the little details matter just as they do in any other relationship. I think that sometimes we not only forget the simple things we need to do to strengthen our heart and our walk, but we forget the importance of these simple things; we lose sight of how vital they are to its strength and growth. It’s no question that the relationship we have with our Savior is different than any other, but we mustn’t forget the areas wherein those relationships are the same.

Spend time with your God. Love Him, praise Him, and talk with Him. Tell Him about your day. Thank Him for the snow. Sing to Him of His greatness. Don’t let your relationship with Him become distant or stagnant, because being in love and close with your God will result in the most amazing relationship you’ll ever have.

Our relationship with God is undoubtedly unique and it is magnificently different than any other, but it is a relationship nonetheless, and all relationships require certain basics of time, communication, appreciation, and praise. If these are necessary in our earthly relationships, shouldn't they be exponentially more important in our spiritual relationship with our Savior and our God?

Simply Thankful

I am convinced that it is impossible to find a family without some element of “crazy.” Family holidays, birthdays, reunions, get-togethers; they’re all nuts! In one form or another, there is always a little madness … I think it’s awesome. It’s crazy because it’s different.

There are a number of traditions that are more or less the same throughout each family despite the differing craziness (putting up a Christmas tree, painting eggs for Easter, dressing up in costumes for Halloween, etc), and then there are other traditions that are more personal, more unique. Those are the traditions that are really meaningful and fun, because they are different from one family to the next.

My family has quite a number of our own unique traditions. One of my favorites is our yearly Thanksgiving ritual. A couple of weeks before Thanksgiving Day, we get together every night to read and write our “thankful leaves.” Since it is the fall season, we cut out pieces of construction paper in the shape of leaves and on each leaf we write something for which we are thankful. We write out only a few leaves each night and then we sit around the fire with hot chocolate to read each other our leaves, as well as listen to the leaves of others. After each round, the leaves from that night are hung around the kitchen on the cupboards, creating a colorful, autumn-themed, “thankful leaf” display.

I think this yearly custom that we have created is absolutely fantastic. Not only do we get to spend time with our family, but we get to hear what each person is thankful for that year, and it makes us think about what we are truly thankful for that year as well. It’s also really inspiring, and sometimes humorous, to look back on the leaves of the past and see the change of importance of certain things in our lives and what we were most thankful for a few years ago.

But I digress.

So, this year as I was writing out some of my leaves, I noticed that the majority of them had the same general topic of gratitude.  I noticed that I was consistently and deeply thankful for

God…

God…

and some more God.

The first few of my leaves were obvious: I was thankful for God’s blessing of this, thankful for His forgiveness of that, His grace for those, His peace in that; the list goes on. Then I got to the next leaf and, while I knew what I wanted to write, I couldn’t find the words. I had an idea, but the words seemed too simple; they just couldn’t express the extent of my joy, my gratitude, my amazement.

I wanted to write, “I am thankful for God’s love for me; His unconditional love,” but those words just didn’t seem enough.  

I took myself back two years (or even one year ... even six months) from this day and thought of the person that I was and the position that I was in. Again, I can’t find the words to describe my state at that point in my life, but “terrible” doesn’t do it justice. I was living an impure life in a number of ways. I was a liar. I was rebellious. I ignored my family and I ignored my God. I ran away from my faith and my conscience. I’m not sure I felt any shame for the way that I lived, and if I did, I immediately shoved it away; I had no intention of changing. Did I think that God loved me then? No.At that time, I was certain that He didn’t. But did God love me then? Of course He did.

Even when my conscience caught back up to me and I tried to turn my life around, I still didn’t turn to God. Full of shame and regret, I decided that I could still be a “moral” person without necessarily involving God; I was convinced that He didn’t want me back anyways. However, God’s unconditional love was ever present, and as I continued to ignore Him, He continued to love me.   

God loved me enough, even in my darkest hours, to rescue me. He pursued me time and time again, even when I ran. He blessed me constantly, even when I cursed Him. Even when I abandoned Him, when I loved the world more, He fought for me. He wanted everything to do with me when I wanted nothing to do with Him.

Looking at my timeline of the last two years, the transformation is nothing short of incredible. The way God has shaped my life these past couple of years is unimaginable. Words can’t describe it and I oftentimes feel that I can barely comprehend it. His love was, and is, phenomenal. He loved me at my worst. He fought for me at my worst. The way in which He loves us is incredible.

Max Lucado wrote, “Father, your love never ceases. Never. Though we spurn you, ignore you, disobey you, you will not change. Our evil cannot diminish your love. Our goodness cannot increase it. Our faith does not earn it any more than our stupidity jeopardizes it. You don’t love us less if we fail. You don’t love us more if we succeed.”

That concept, the concept of His unfailing love, is so ... I don’t even have the words for it.

Saying that, “I am thankful for God’s unconditional love for me,” doesn’t accurately portray it. I wish I could find the words to describe how thankful I am, but I can’t. I am thankful that God’s love never ceases. I am thankful that He loves me in my darkest hours; that he fights for me in those hours. I am thankful that His love produces such blessings and joy. I am thankful for the inconceivable bliss that I feel because I so strongly love someone who loves me more than I can even understand. I am thankful that He saved me from myself.  He loved me enough not to leave me where I was, where I thought I wanted to be. He picked me up, dusted me off, and reminded me how deep His love is for me.

Isaiah 54:10 - For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, but my lovingkindness will not be removed from you.

Zephaniah 3:17 - The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

Micah 7:18 – Who is a God like you, who pardons iniquity and passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possession? He does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in unchanging love.

Romans 5:8 – But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Two years ago, I was so far from anyone I ever wanted to be. In my own eyes, I was undoubtedly a disappointment, and yet I was undoubtedly loved by God. His unfailing love is amazing.

As plain and simple as it sounds, I am thankful for God’s unchanging love; it has radically changed my life, and words can’t even describe it.

Psalm 136:26, Give thanks to the God of Heaven. His love endures forever.

Ordinarily Extraordinary

There are a vast number of people who have greatly changed all of our lives. There are inventors, speakers, writers, doctors, teachers, scientists, and more who have changed our world, whether that is technologically, physically, or inspirationally.

For example, Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell contributed highly to our modern technology. Thomas Edison invented the light bulb and Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. There are also hundreds and hundreds of other inventions (big and small) that have changed our lives; cars, microwaves, penicillin, the printing press, computers, airplanes, television, toothbrushes, locks, paper clips, glasses, etc.

Martin Luther King Jr. changed the lives of many with his famous, I have a dream speech. Frederick Douglass wrote three autobiographies that paved the way in the abolitionist movement of the 19^th century. There are countless people who have changed and inspired our world through their speech and/or writing; William Shakespeare, Karl Marx, Plato, Rene Descartes, Thomas Paine, George Orwell, Leo Tolstoy, etc.

There are painters like Picasso, leaders like Abraham Lincoln, and artists like John Lennon or The Beatles who have helped to shape our world. These people are famous, their names are recognized by most, and they have changed some aspect of our society and our world.

Doesn't everybody wish to somehow change the world like they did?

Changing the world is such a big dream; it’s a huge dream! It’s intimidating and oftentimes seems out of our reach. I love the idea of inspiring or changing the world in some way, but I also love to be realistic, so I decide to dream a little smaller. My mind immediately jumps to justifications for why I am incapable of such a dream. Changing the world isn’t for everybody, right? It’s for those who have remarkable ideas, unheard of IQs, or unmatched talents. People who change the world are extraordinary people, and I would say that I’m fairly ordinary, so changing the world just isn’t for me. I would love to do something so great, but wanting to do something and having the ability to do it are entirely different. I’m just not the, “great enough to change the world,” type, and I accept that.

However, I reach an issue with this mentality regularly. I don’t think that God is too fond my attitude and outlook on my abilities. Why is this an issue? Because God calls us to do crazy, change-the-world things!

God calls us to love our enemies (Matt 5:44, Romans 12:20, Luke 6:27-28, 1 John 2:9). He calls us to serve and sacrifice ourselves for others (Matt 25:35-46, 1 Peter 4:9-10, Galatians 5:13-14).

God calls us to be enemies of the world; to be in the world but not of the world (1 John 2:15-16, James 4:4, John 17:14). He calls us to preach the gospel to all (Mark 16:15, Matt 28:19, Mark 13:10) and to be a light unto the world (Matt 5:14-16, John 12:35-36).

I don’t think that any of those things could be regarded as “small” duties. God calls us to do some pretty monumental things.  

Now, I know what God wants and expects from me. I know it from His word and I know it from what He has impressed upon my heart. He’s got plans for me and He’s got work for me to do. I know what He wants, but I doubt that I can do it.

Sometimes I feel like I have to remind Him that it’s me. “God, you do know that you’re talking to me, right? You know, Mary Bocks?

Oh, you do know that?

Well then, you must’ve forgotten all about who I am. This is the Mary Bocks who has disappointed you time and time again; the one who continually falls short of your expectations. This is the one who-

You say you know exactly who I am?

Well if you know exactly who I am, you should know I am surely not good enough for this. I don’t understand why you would want to trust me with such a calling. God, with all due respect, I think you’re crazy! I want to serve you, I do, but there is no way I can do something that big! Can you trust me with something a little smaller?”

This conversation between God and I legitimately happens. I imagine He is constantly shaking His head at me.”Mary, you tell Me that you want to wholeheartedly serve Me, and yet when I ask something of you, you say it is too much, too big, too great. Do you not see the contradiction? You are not only underestimating yourself, but you are underestimating My ability to know you; My ability to know what you can do with my strength. I can trust you to do this, because I know you trust me.” Usually after awhile I understand the absurdity of arguing with God about what He is calling me to do, but that doesn't mean I think I can do it. There are many times I just can't understand why He is asking me to do it, and I can’t accept it.

“God, I’m just ordinary. I am nothing spectacular and I don’t have the potential to change the world. I just don’t understand why you think I am capable of doing such extraordinary things when I am just an ordinary person who makes ordinary mistakes.”

God reminds me that He doesn’t need extraordinary; He needs obedience and trust. He told me that, if I read my bible, I would quickly be reminded of all the times that he used ordinary people to do extraordinary things.

            God used fishermen, a tax collector, and religious radicals as His disciples.

            He used an ordinary shepherd boy named David to be the king of Israel,

            a young virgin to be the mother of Christ,

            an ordinary man (who was no prophet) named Amos to prophesy to Israel,

            a weak man named Gideon to defeat the Midianites

            a prostitute named Rahab and an adulteress named Bathsheba.

God uses ordinary people who trust in His strength to do extraordinary things; His disciples were fishermen! Alone, they were not wealthy, perfect, or strong; they were ordinary. But with God’s strength, they were extraordinary. They influenced lives and they changed the world. God still wants to use ordinary people to do amazing things today.

God doesn’t need us to be flawless. (Thomas Edison failed over 2000 times before he successfully invented the light bulb .. random fact!). If we let Him, God can use us to change the world.

“We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, or fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.” – Marianne Williamson

We are all ordinary people with the potential to be something and do something so much greater. Who was Picasso, but a normal man intrigued by art, before his work was famous? Who was William Shakespeare, but one of the many children at his charter school, before he became a famous playwright? Who were any of the aformentioned inventors, writers, or speakers before they changed the world? They were ordinary people. As quoted, maybe the question isn’t, “Who am I to change the world?” but rather, who are you NOT to change the world? Who are you NOT to be extraordinary?

What would have happened if Abraham had said he was too ordinary to "make a great nation?" What if Noah had thought himself not great enough to build an ark? What if David had not believed himself strong enough to defeat Goliath?

God will call you to do crazy things. He will call you to do incredible things. Let God use you to be extraordinary, because with Him, you can be. After all, who are you not to be?

God Loves Boldly

     Currently I'm reading a book by Max Lucado, A Gentle Thunder. There was a chapter about God's love that almost brought me to tears; it's downright mind boggling (which God's love always is to me). I figured I could write about the beauty of God's love, but I thought he did it so well I'd just share an excerpt from his book. Anyway, here it is!


"God, I have a question. Why do you love your children? I don't want to sound irreverant, but only heaven knows how much pain we've brought you. Why do you tolerate us? You give us every breath we breathe, but do we thank you? You give us bodies beyond duplication, but do we praise you?
   
    Seldom.
   
    We complain about the weather. We bicker about our toys. We argue over who gets which continent and who has the best gender. Not a second passes when someone, somewhere, doesn't use your name to curse a hammered thumb or a bad call by the umpire. (As if it were your fault).
    You fill the world with food, but we blame you for hunger. You keep the earth from tilting and the arctics from thawing, but we accuse you of unconcern. You give us blue skies, and we demand rain. You give rain, and we demand sun. (As if we knew what was best anyway).
    We give more applause to a brawny ball-carrier than we do to the God who made us. We sing more songs to the moon than to the Christ who saved us. We are a gnat on the tail of one elephant in a galaxy of Africas, and yet we demand that you find us a parking place when we ask. And if you don't give us what we want, we say you don't care.
    We pollute the world you loan us. We mistreat the bodies you gave us. We ignore the Word you sent us and we killed the Son you became. We are spoiled babies who take and kick and pout and blaspheme.

You have every reason to abandon us.

I sure would! I would wash my hands of the whole mess and start over on Mars. But do you?

    I see the answer in the rising of the sun. I hear the answer in the crashing of the waves. I feel the answer in the skin of a child.
    Father, your love never ceases. Never. Though we spurn you, ignore you, disobey you, you will not change. Our evil cannot diminish your love. Our goodness cannot increase it. Our faith does not earn it any more than our stupidity jeopardizes it. You don't love us less if we fail. You don't love us more if we succeed.

Your love never ceases.
How do we explain it?

    Perhaps the answer is found in yet another question. Moms: Why do you love your newborn? I know, I know; it's a silly question, but indulge me. Why do you?
    For months this baby has brought you pain. She (or he) made you break out in pimples and waddle like a duck. Because of her you craved sardines and crackers and threw up in the morning. She punched you in the tummy. She occupied space that wasn't hers and ate food she didn't fix.
    You kept her warm. You kept her safe. You kept her fed. But did she say thank you?
    Are you kidding? She's no more out of the womb than she starts to cry! The room is too cold, the blanket is too rough, the nurse is too mean. And who does she want? Mom.
    Don't you ever get a break? I mean, who has been doing the work the last nine months? Why can't Dad take over? But no, Dad won't do. The baby wants Mom.
    She didn't even tell you she was coming. She just came. And what a coming! She rendered you a barbarian. You screamed. You swore. You bit bullets and tore the sheets. And now look at you. Your back aches. Your head pounds. Your body is drenched in sweat. Every muscle strained and stretched.

You should be angry, but are you?

    Far from it. On your face is a for-longer-than-forever love. She has done nothing for you; yet you love her. She's brought pain to your body and nausea to your morning, yet you treasure her. Her face is wrinkled and her eyes are dim, yet all you can talk about are her good looks and bright future. She's going to wake you up every night for the next six weeks, but that doesn't matter. I can see it on your face. You're crazy about her.

Why?

    Why does a mother love her newborn? Because the baby is hers? Even more. Because the baby is her. Her blood. Her flesh. Her sinew and spine. Her hope. Her legacy. It bothers her not that the baby gives nothing. She knows a newborn is helpless, weak. She knows babies don't ask to come into this world.

And God knows we didn't either.

   We are His idea. We are His. His face. His eyes. His hands. His touch. We are Him. Look deeply into the face of every human being on earth, and you will see His likeness. Though some appear to be distant relatives, they are not. God has no cousins, only children.
    We are, incredibly, the body of Christ. And though we may not act like our Father, there is no greater truth than this: We are His. Unalterably. He loves us. Undyingly. Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. (See Romans 8:38-39).
    Had God not said those words, I would be a fool to write them. But since He did, I'm a fool not to believe them. Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ."

I'm not entirely sure why this chapter of the book struck me so hard, but I found it incredibly inspiring. To compare our touch, our eyes, our face to that of our Father's ... that is just amazing to me. Any time that I read about God's unfailing love for us, I am astounded. I hope that this inspires you the way that it did me.

"How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings." Psalm 36:7